Happy Mothers’ Day (Belated)

Honestly, I don’t know how mothers do it. Which is maybe part of the reason why the universe hasn’t aligned to make me one (yet), if that whole universe-alignment/fate crap sort of thing is real, which no one really knows. But judging by the way I parent our pets, I would probably be a bit neurotic, a bit of a helicopter mom, a LOT sarcastic and mocking, etc. I’m that person who laughs at crying kids, unless they’re genuinely hurt or in real distress.

Ugh, I really don’t know where I was going with this. Except to say that I know, without having fully experienced it myself, that parenting is a mammoth job. There are so many parents who screw it up, so many people who have absolutely NO business breeding (and so many really awesome folks who can’t have kids but would make incredible parents, and I’m not talking about me, here!). There are parents who just amaze me with their sheer fortitude, never mind helping their kid(s) actually learn and become decent humans with common sense. (Seriously? Cleaning up projectile-vomit from walls and the crevices of couch cushions? Hell, just the sleep-deprivation alone would make me homicidal, but the toxic waste of kids would quite seriously reduce me to a whimpering pile of useless.)

And then there’s the part where little kids grow into teenagers – I get an anxiety attack just thinking about that, so let’s just skip it, move on to the delicate balance of parents and their adult offspring… Nah, nope. I honestly don’t think I could do this job. So, my hat’s off to you, moms and maternal figures out there. Hope you had a lovely day.

My mom is completely and totally awesome, btw. She’s my best friend – I have that kind of relationship where we can talk about nearly anything (except spit/swallow, because EW I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THAT ABOUT YOU, MOM!). I love you, mom.

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